The Frailty of Us Humans

Just over a week ago, I lost a friend. The details are unimportant, because Norm is no longer with us....but his death has caused me a great mix of thoughts and emotions, primarily because we had not spoken in some time. Again, the details are unimportant. But in the course of the last eight days, I have come to understand something about us, as a race.

It is easy to forgive and move on......when it's too late to correct the broken path we've left behind us. But no matter what WE, the living d0, it is already past the time of opportunity to repair a lost friendship, a broken marriage, or a relationship on any level. The deceased have found their rest, but the living must learn to cope with not only the loss, but the fact that they will never again have a chance to mend that fence in their lifetime.

Now, understand that I can differentiate between the loss of a 'real' friend and someone who only pretended to be one...and that happened to me only recently, too! And there is a period of mourning for both. One, because you know that friend is gone and you didn't mend the fence and the other, because you have 'wasted' a period of months....or in my case....YEARS on building what you thought was iron clad! Yet, in both instances, the blame for the breakdown is on the same person's shoulders-your own.

Hey, it's my blogspace to ramble in, so I am going to continue.

I've learned a great deal about loss these last few years. I've lost my Grandfather, a man whom I loved and held in high esteem, in 2005. He was an old man, quiet and unassuming, but who would have thought that he was a real, live hero? And yet he was....assisting in the rescue of many men, from a ship that had run aground in the UP's Sac Bay. Cecil H. Shawl was a good man, a decent man and more 'Christ-like' than a lot of so called 'Christians' I have known. He didn't talk much about his Faith, he just lived his Faith...day by day....year by year.

And then there is another Family member I cannot yet talk about. Nuff said.

Add to this a 'friend' I entrusted for more than 14 years, before finding he was not the person he claimed to be.....and then Norm, a good man who had some really tough cards dealt to him. Yep, life has taught me a lot about losing. And there are lessons in each loss, which I can and will pass on to my children as they grow.

The only lesson I want to talk about today, other than avoiding missed opportunities, is to cherish the aged. Within their still fertile minds lie a wealth of history. Stories untold can pour from their lips at will and if you give them a chance.....they will! I wish I had taken far more opportunities to sit with Bpa and talk to him about the olden days. We talked once, on tape, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. We should have talked far more often than that....and on my last trip to see him, just days before his death, I looked back at my video camera and said, "Ah, next time". 19 days later, next time came, but Bpa was no longer able to tell me stories.

If you have a Grandfather, Grandmother, or Great Grama, or Grampa, sit down with them TODAY and talk to them. Ask them what it was like growing up in their early years....what it was like when they worked....what it was like in everyday America. You'd be surprised how much it has changed.

As for my neighbor and friend, Norm.....all I can say is "Thank You" for being a friend, for offering help in time of need and for teaching me to watch more closely, so I can avoid future mistakes.